I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
You are the jesus of drinking
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
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