Just fell off a train. Bad.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
