You can't motorboat a personality
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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