ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
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I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize