I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
