i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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