you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize