The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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