I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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