I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
