do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
