How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
