i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
