Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
