it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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