Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
