Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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