Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
