Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
this is an emotional support booty call
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
