Pregnant stripper...not hot.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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