So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
