Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
