its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
