well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
