we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
