he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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