talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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