i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
