Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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