Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
