The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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