so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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