I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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