So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
