one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
no. you can't hotbox the world.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
