So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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