That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
