I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
