white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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