He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
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