I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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