That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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