Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
How external is "for external use only"?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
