I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
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When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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