Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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