i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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