i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
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