Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
