Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Randomize
