im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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