the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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