Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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