But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I think im going to throw up on grandma
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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