oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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