plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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