I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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