Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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