I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Randomize
