Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize