Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
