Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
