the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week š
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
At least Iām an āessential employeeā and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesnāt ask why Iām essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
