dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize