dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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