Just cropdusted the office
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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