you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
