): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
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