dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
