i jhust puked up my retainher.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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